It just doesn’t feel right

I’ve been working on my short story turned too damn long project some more today. In a weird way it is frustrating because it is coming pretty easily so far. It’s strange that this would be frustrating but I had expected it to be a much shorter work, something I could turn out in a few days and then move on from but, instead, the thing is just flying along. I’ve broken the 10k word mark with ease and more of the story is unfolding in my head and making sense and all I wanted was some quick little thing I could send off.

What’s also frustratinng is that it feels so mundane.  That’s a bad thing for a writer to say but it’s true. This isn’t to say the story doesn’t seem interesting or the writing sucks. I like the story and I like what I have written so far. But I can tell it’s not great. I don’t see anything in it that really seperates it from the ton of other stuff that I read that I enjoy but then give to the used book store for credit. I love Haruki Murakami and Richard Brautigan and, occasionally, bits of Pynchon,  and Vonnegutt and a slew of others and they all have this quality that you can tell they are doing something remarkable with the page and the word.

Reading over what I am writing, thinking of where it is going, and it just doesn’t have those qualities. It’s unrealistic to expect them. These are truly great writers who are exceptional at their craft.  And I should be happy if I can just get this project finished and find an agent for it. But there is still a hope that I can do something that would make me feel like I belonged with the heroes of my literary world rather than taking up space at the used book store.

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