ambition

It seems like my life is filled with examples of  a lack of ambition or a lack of self-confidence. My girlfriend doesn’t force herself to sit down and write despite always saying she wants to be published, be a writer, etc. I have another friend pursuing a PhD in Creative Writing who basically has to be forced to write by whatever program she in. I don’t apply to nearly enough jobs to actually find employment and, though I don’t want to be a writer and don’t overly care about being published, I’m the only one who writes on any sort of a consistent basis.

Maybe this is why the whole college degree thing hasn’t been worth much. A combination of not knowing what to do with it and not a shitload of ambition to do something with it. 

Or maybe college was something that was never really meant for me and the string of bad luck since starting at UT is life’s way of informing me of this.

Looking back at high school, I think of how vo-tech was looked down on. It was seen as a place to send kids to get the credits they need to get their high school diploma while getting them out of actual classes. The good that could come from these vocational courses were never really mentioned. They were treated as the alternative for kids who didn’t like to read or add.

Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I wish I had the good sense to have went to vo-tech and gotten trained in something. Auto mechanics, electricians, plumbing, who cares. Taking those classes in high school I could have graduated with a certificate in whatever, then did my apprenticing, if need be, and been pulling down some good cash for at least the past five years. 

I probably could have bought a home.

I could have been saving money for vacations or even for retirement.

I’m not even sure retirement will ever be an option now.

and my girlfriend is entirely oblivious to this as she wants to do some more degree hunting.

A lesson to everyone out there, especially the boys: get yourself trained in something where you will get work and get paid. Women can wait. Watch out for yourself first and treat your cock well – in other words, wear condoms. The babymaker is a first class way of screwing up your life.

and getting several english degrees. don’t do that, either. If you don’t get some sort of certificate for a trade then get a degree in, at worst, accounting or some computer stuff. The world loves it some computers now.

Over and out from the disaffected wastelands.

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