I’m in the muck

I’m applying for various adjunct positions and am waiting for copies of my transcripts from two of my all too many colleges so that I can finish a handful of applications. I’m looking through a few MFA programs and am even considering applying for a PhD program or two down the road in an only moderately related field. Because of this consideration, I am now re-subjecting myself to criticism.  Today is the first day back from another weekend at home filled with a lot of mowing, house/yardwork and conversations of impending doom. It was also the first time I’ve seen the actual grave stone for my uncle. Which they still haven’t gotten right (they, apparently, forgot a large black granite vase that was supposed to be off to one side of the stone).  And this is the week when everyone else goes back to school and I am stuck at home.

So I tried writing today and it went nowhere.

I tried reading and got through the 22 page introduction of the Basic Writings of Derida and filled a page of notes to look up on google and fill in more.

I feel kinda fat today and the large amount of pasta sauce that went with supper tonight has made me feel a bit nauseous.

In general, I’m just feeling like I’m in the muck. Physically and psychologically I have been having to reach down and pull myself out of a big sunctiony mess.

Hopefully, a ton of coffee will help tilt the game in my favor

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